The League of Bearded Catholics

Apologia and Re-Boot

Because even I find these kind of posts tedious almost beyond bearing, I am going to do all in my power to make sure this is the last one in which I explain why The League has been so nearly comatose, of late.

This has been a spring and summer very different from those to which I am accustomed. I have been at a career crossroads which involves juggling at least four different sorts of work and training, all with an eye toward at long last making a decent (and reliable) living for my family and me (what were you thinking, dear, when you married a painter? Never mind. I know, and I will be thankful 'til the day I die).

Juggling, it has become increasingly apparent, is not one of my God-given talents. I have been painting, showing and teaching as one seeking a career in fine art. I have been working toward a teaching certificate, as one who seeks to teach in the public schools. I have been working (and looking for work) as an experienced screen printer, and I have continued to seek out work (freelance, or otherwise) as a graphic artist/illustrator.

This has left me, no matter what I might be doing, with the constant, nagging sensation that I really ought to be attending to something else more urgent. Due to my congenital absent mindedness, I have - several times a week for my entire adult life - felt a sudden rush of mental terror that there was something extremely important I was forgetting, and it was mostly a pretty safe bet that this was true.

This has meant that The League has very often received short shrift in the last few months. It has meant, in fact, that for weeks I did not even check the League e-mail.

But, thanks to the initiative of some other local Beardies, I see an opportunity to remedy this situation, and inject new life into the League of Bearded Catholics.

We now have scheduled (see our Facebook page);

An ad-hoc Fact Finding Mission of the Special Task Force of the Exploratory Arm of the unofficial Membership Service Committee of the Northwest Arkansas Chapter of The League of Bearded Catholics.

Tuesday, June 29th, 6:45-ish, at Club Frisco in Downtown Rogers, Arkansas. We'll post a sign.

Those who miss shall think themselves accursed they were not there, and hold their manhoods cheap, etc, etc...

I've got to make some quick contacts and send out some backlogged membership certificates, etc... (flushes with shame), but things should be rolling along again soon, and I will endeavour to post here daily. Still, I can't help but think I'm forgetting something...

Hold That Thought...

Continuing abject apologies for the lameness of the blog and of TLBC action in general, of late. Your blog grunt and acting Nabob has been once again overwhelmed with other activities. Due to his ordinary absent-mindedness, it is not all that difficult to overwhelm him, even on his best days.

In a series of bold frauds, he has passed from living the life of a mild-mannered graphic artist, to impersonating an elementary school teacher, and this past several weeks has been feverishly re-inventing himself as a hipster artist by wearing black turtlenecks, drinking cappucino and painting large paintings, because as everyone knows, "If it's big enough, it's art". He even flirted with the idea of reducing his total acreage of facial hair by shaving his cheeks and sporting a goatee. This mood passed, however, he recovered his senses and convinced his wife to untie him.

He is still evading authorities and right at this moment is posing as a knowledgeable, professional painter, even bluffing his way into being invited to present a three-day oil painting workshop for a group of unsuspecting students. He hopes, after exhausting the vocabulary of art jargon he picked up on Wikipedia over the last few days, to distract them with travel stories, magic tricks and tap dancing.

TLBC will pick up next week. Stay tuned!

Attention, Please...

Your 'umble blog master is one of those simple-minded (or absent minded) types who loses track of things, and who, when he realizes they are lost, immediately begins patting his pockets and looking under stacks of neglected mail in hopes of finding them.

Organizers, both the paper kind and the electronic, are a tremendous idea... but then one has to remember to use them, and then remember where one left them.

The upshot of all this is just a simple request; if you have aksed for a League Chapter Certificate and have not yet received it, please e-mail me (contact link in right-hand column). I will set our staff to work and will have the coveted certificates in the post, ummm... post haste.

I have mailed a few, but others are waiting, I know. Also, I have a fresh, warm batch of membership packets on the way.

By the way, our own local group is very near to our first, informal meeting of the unofficial Special Task Force of the Fact-Finding Team of the ad-hoc Membership Committee of the Northwest Arkansas Chapter of The League of Bearded Catholics. More info soon, here and on the Facebook page.

Many thanks, and May Your Beards Grow Ever Longer!

Even My Beard is Tired

Beardful blogging has been light this week, because your TLBC blog author was suddenly - one might say hastily - offered a position as a long-term substitute art teacher at a local gradeschool.

One can only assume that the principal, a normally bright man, was exhausted and overwhelmed with work and left my application on the top of the pile by mistake. But whatever the reason, I am now left supervising the activities of 25 or so young minds six times a day during the week.

The plan, for the time being, is to work up several shorter posts on the weekend, and schedule them to run throughout the week. Given the plebeian quality of even my best blogging, this should not be too taxing.

If you have any blog posts or notes of interest to send, the time has never been more apt.

Cheers!

Rules, Rules, Rules

Be sure and drop by the Blog of the American Chesterton Society (now in our Links) early and often in your bearded browsing. Always high quality bloggage.

Presented in their most recent post is a passage wherein G.K.C. turns up the roots of rules and rule making. Among his observations;

It is the fashion to talk of institutions as cold and cramping things. The truth is that when people are in exceptionally high spirits, really wild with freedom and invention, they always must, and they always do, create institutions. When men are weary they fall into anarchy; but while they are gay and vigorous they invariably make rules.

 

Counterintuitive according to the Spirit of the Age, but somewhat reflected, I thought, in the League Bylaws. Give them a read, now and then.

Talking of which, drop a note in the combox or shoot us an e-mail when you get your membership certificate. Their processing may have been slowed down because the League Postmaster had the affrontery to insist they not be folded. It turns out that the U.S. Postal Service charges extra for not folding your mail. Truly. Apparently, it means such items must be processed by hand, and who knows what chaos such an eccentric request may generate?

The good news is that postal rates to Europe are cheaper than expected, so those of you in the Old World West, please send along your mailing address vie e-mail and you will also soon receive your member certificate, printed on the same authentic imitation Capybara parchment for which League publications are already so justly admired.

The local chapter here in the vicinity of the Homely Office is steadily congealing. Local members have been conspiring and running covert reconnaissance sorties in search of a suitable meeting place. The breathtaking account of our first *official* meeting will be posted.

For those working toward a local TLBC chapter, here are some notes from the Homely Office;

First, there's no hurry. The League did not even exist a few months ago. I have been approaching potential members in person (usually at Mass or some other parish function) by ones or twos. I try to talk to them for a few minutes to get a feel for how much they already know about (and care about) the work of the Four Patrons. I invite everyone, but will probably follow up only with those I think will really enjoy a League meeting. I'm trying to imagine something more tedious than, out of friendship or sympathy, dutifully slogging off to what appears to be a meeting of some sort of geeky fan club for Dead British Guys, where there are a handful of True Believers all giddily talking over one another, and a smaller contingent of guys like yourself who spend the time staring at one another and looking at their watches. Better a smaller, motivated group where everyone "gets" the idea without having to be "sold". Though we hope to spread appreciation for these authors and their ideas, The League is not really meant to be evangelical in its approach. We do not at all pretend to teach, only to (in the words of the late, great Douglas Adams) "share and enjoy". For those on the fringe, offer to lend them a book or essay by one of the Big Four.

Since we now have a good-sized group of interested people, we're beginning to communicate informally to try and set a convenient time and place for the first meeting. After these have been determined, a few flyers and posters will be made up and posted in public spots (the public library, some local book shops and pubs, etc...). Posting notices at one's parish may be a tickly business, as this begins to make The League look like a para-church thing, in which case parishioners may expect that this is something vetted and approved by the parish priest or even the disocese.

I you can post in your parish in an informal way, without this implying official ecclesial approval, go ahead. If not, skip it and stick to personal contacts with fellow parishioners. Keep in mind that it is not necessary at all that members be parishioners, or even Catholic. Or bearded.

I recently was delighted to hear from a League member in a nearby town that his parish priest is aware of The League and wants to join up. That will be sweet! I also plan to invite our own parish priests, as well as priests from some nearby parishes. How many will be interested I can't say, but I want them to know about the group and know they are more than welcome.

Things are coming along nicely. Like a good campfire, the slow burn is best.

**Remember; send in your Bearded Tributes and articles, poems, art, etc... for publication, as well as news of local activities.

Beard Making Tip

When manufacturing fake beards, say when cutting them out of poly/acrylic faux fur, DO NOT shake the loose hairs from the new beard near food items... like a butter dish, for instance. There can be surprisingly strong cross currents in kitchens.

Yes, the Membership Packets are on their way, with my deepest apologies for their lateness. If you knew how difficult it is to smuggle Capybara Parchment into the country, though...

The full, serialized tale will be forthcoming. I was lucky to escape with my beard!

Handy Tip (Jar)

Since some members have asked about donating to help cover material costs, etc... a handy Tip Jar button (via PayPal)  has been lovingly and painstakingly installed in the right hand column. >>>>

So, now, if the spirit moves you to feed the kitty, the process will be as quick and painless as a flu shot.

An underground compound deep beneath the Vatican... a private beard-shaped island resort? Who knows what we could accomplish?

Unshaven Facebook

Holy cow! Thanks to member John R.P. Russell (may his beard grow ever longer), The League has an official Facebook page, with members and everything, and your 'umble founder wasn't even aware of it!

No doubt partly due to my adult-onset A-D-D.

So, John has done a splentacular job, but... sadly, shamfully... our group page has no ongoing discussions, no photos, no events posted. (*SOB*)

I'll be getting all over that, but - as John did - feel free to jump in with both feet. Plunge recklessly ahead, and all that. The League (like a terrorist group or a herd of capybara) works according to what they call a very decentralized command structure, so freelance hijinks like this are the order of the day. Do keep us informed, though.

ALSO -

Your member requests continue to pour in from around the Western Spiral Arm of the galaxy. Official Membership Packets will be sent out within a week or two, barring any unforseen bouts of A.D.D. or Severe Procrastination. Keep in mind that none of your contact information will ever be shared with anyone, except at your request (sometimes, when Leaguers live in the same area, you might be asked if you want to share e-mail addresses).

For membership information, click on the How To Join The League link in the right hand column >>>.

As always, if you have news of interest, meeting minutes (which should be at least partly true and accurate) or anything, send it in. Some members are even now working up articles and other items, which are always welcome. Art, poetry, discussion starters, rants... take the ball and run it up the flagpole.

But That's Not All...!

We're behind the curve on this, but have a few announcements to make, regarding O-fishul League Bidness and member perks that will stagger the mind. Join The League, and in the words of Pedro Sanchez, "all your wildest dreams will come true".

First, we have a new official contact e-mail and snail mail address posted, which you can access any time by clicking the Contact Information link in the right hand column. >>>>

Next we have a reminder that the whole idea of the League is to get together with other Bearded Catholics (and beardie sympathizers) of like mind. Now, some may look at The League as probably just an excuse to get together and drink beer, and... okay, they would be right, but, the important thing is that between beers and snacks and all that, we try to devote a few minutes to Saving Western Civilization From Itself. In fact, I believe one strikes a blow for sanity and civilization just by the act of getting together (hopefully over adult beverages and some cheesy comestibles).

Everything's digital, now... friendships, correspondence, the family photo album... The internet is a varied and marvelous thing, but can it cook? Can it lend you an umbrella? Can it hold your hair while you throw up? I submit that it can not. Remember, The League of Bearded Catholics is not just a blog... it's an adventure!

Also, keep in mind that the blog belongs to the League, so your submissions of artwork, articles, poetry, photos and whatever, are greatly coveted. Of special interest will be tributes of bearded Catholics past and present, to add to our profiles.

Two important things for those wishing to become official, League members;

First, e-mail your membership request, include your snail mail address and phone #, and you will receive at absolutely no cost to you;

This exclusive and never before minted Membership Certificate, printed on genuine imitation capybara parchment, and accompanied by ten (10) TLBC calling cards with your e-mail and phone number (which can be handed to prospective members, or to complete strangers). Amaze your friends! Confound your enemies!

For those wishing to establish a local TLBC Chapter, you will receive in addition to the above;

... this handsome Chapter Certificate (suitable for framing), an additional 40 calling cards, and a luxurious fake beard, which can be donned by those who (we assume through no fault of their own) have no beard, but who none the less wish to gain admission to your august proceedings. Or your April proceedings. Or any month, really. At any rate, if you want to start a Chapter (as some have already indicated) definitely send for the kit and send notice of your meeting times and whatnot so it can be published here on the blog.

For those in fur'n countries, (or anyone else who asks, actually) we will be happy to e-mail the artwork for the certificates and cards, so that you may print your own (as long as you register as a member). For fake beards, I suppose you will have to rely on the resources of your native land. Good luck!

More fun stuff may be available for purchase at some point, if we can figure out how to do that without having to turn The League into a not-for-profit or something. That may be an ugly necessity at some point.

Right now, the forseeable costs on certificates and beards will be manageable for the Home Office, but if things take off unexpectedly, a small charge may have to be tacked on. I could do this through PayPal with no problem, but don't want to give the impression that The League is, in any way, a money-making thing or that I'm trying to enrich myself thereby.

This post will be added to the permanent links in the right hand column for handy future reference.

A glorious weekend to all! May your beards grow ever longer, etc, etc...

This One's For The Ladies...

 

Reader and soon-to-be Founding Member John Kasaian writes;

Would Flannery O'Connor be considered a Bearded Catholic Lady? Or at least a Bearded by Intent Catholic Lady?

Now... that is a little spooky, because I had just been considering the same sort of question - namely, what official status should be given and by what title should we address admired Catholic ladies?

And the FIRST name I thought of was Flannery O'Connor!

Then, you also have some formidable contemporary Catholic women who(whom?) I would be very privileged to recognize, if they wouldn't find the whole thing too trivial or insulting.

I would consider the title Honorary Bearded Lady to be the highest sort of compliment, but they might not see it that way. :-)

There was a similar inquiry over at Jimmy Akin's blog, from a lady reader who wondered whether there ought to be some sort of Women's Auxiliary, or something.

My first response would be that The League is far too absurd an undertaking to warrant the forming of any kind of Auxiliary. Plus, one hallmark of healthy Catholic men is that we respect, admire and enjoy the company of good Catholic women. I don't see the strict need for a Women's Auxiliary or what have you, since everyone is welcome at League meetings. Yes, the focus is on manly Catholic pursuits, but the thought of making it an exclusive "men's club" I find rather dull. Let our company be graced with women... if they can stand it.

Then again, I am completely open to some kind of ancillary women's group if that is what the women prefer. I know men + beer/wine/smokes can make for tedious company. A separate group might afford these redoubtable ladies the opportunity to foster friendships with other Catholic women in a more civilized and intelligent atmosphere. If there are any ladies so inclined, please feel free to organize however you please. Either way, we will be more than happy to be allowed to be associated with you, and will endorse your efforts with great satisfaction.