The League of Bearded Catholics

Whimsical Whiskers

From a poster at the Christian Pipe Smokers forum comes this link to a Today show photo essay of some enviable chin hair. Note, as well, the bodacious headwear. You gotta love a bowler, and there was at least one top hat.

In graver news, bearded bonhomie John Kasaian sends along this richly illustrated* CNN news story, in which we learn that Germany has once again taken the top prize at the 2011 World Beard and Moustache Championships in Norway.

Gentlemen, we must not allow a facial hair gap!

*The guy in the first picture looks a lot like my old college friend, Woody.

Thanksgiving

Over at the National Catholic Register, Mark Shea gives a tip of the slouchy, shapeless hat to The Most Grateful Man Who Ever Lived, Gilbert Keith Chesterton -

Chesterton muses on Robinson Crusoe;

After all, the process of making everything that one wants cannot be carried too far in this world. We have all saved something from the ship. At the very least, there was something that Crusoe could not make on the island; there was something Crusoe was forced to steal from the wreck; I mean Crusoe. That precious bale, in any case, he brought ashore; that special cargo called “R. C.,” at least, did not originate in the island... Even the pessimist when he thinks, if he ever does, must realise that he has something to be thankful for: he owes something to the world, as Crusoe did to the ship. You may regard the universe as a wreck: but at least you have saved something from the wreck.

I'm thankful for a lot this year. One is always led to single out this or that, but life is complex and I'm grateful for the grace behind all the complexity. For instance, though I am very thankful once again to have reliable, paying work, for the last few months this work has made it devilishly hard to find time to paint or to write, and so the League seems nearly comatose a year after it was begun. I say seems comatose. I look at it as being less like a coma and more like a long nap. It will take some disciplined effort, though, to wake it and get a mug of hot tea into it. My schedule has grown more rigid and unaccommodating than one of those blue-gloved TSA workers.

I'm grateful to have learned a bit more about beekeeping, recently, and to have made progress on the home brewing front this year.

To say I'm grateful for my family would be an understatement of scandalous proportions.

One more thing for which I'm especially grateful is our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI. Jonah Goldberg, writing in the Jewish World Review, gives a perspective on our beloved German Shepherd for which I am very grateful, indeed. As Mr. Goldberg's father wisely observed, "we need more rocks in the river".

To Beard, or Not to Beard?

The mysterious TFM sends along this story - via the Pittsburgh Catholic - by His Eminence Bishop David Zubick, regarding his recent bearding (on doctor's orders, no less) and his resulting internal conflict and psychic struggle, as well as the reactions of those around him.

There are those, apparently, who still turn a gimlet eye to the Face Coat, and who see in it all manner of disturbing significance.

And then, for the good Bishop, there is the habitual momentum of a lifetime of shaving. Going out unshaven probably made him feel something like you might feel if you went out without brushing your teeth or showering.

He puts a good "face" on it though.

Bacon and Eggs

Myself. "Well, anyhow, it is determined that we make a feast, and I say for my part that there must be in this feast bacon and eggs fried together in one pan, and making a great commonalty in one dish."

The Sailor. "Excellent ; and the drink shall be beer."

The Poet. "Besides this, what we need is two large cottage loaves of new bread, and butter, and some kind of cheese."

Hilaire Belloc - The Four Men

 

Amid a small cyclone of activity, lately, I had the unique pleasure of welcoming my Chestertonian friend and fellow Leaguer, Del, and his son, who were foolish enough to agree to spend the night in our living room as they rested from their summer motorcycle meandering.

We spent most of our time together on our porch, where we smoked pipes, drank beer and grazed on the kind of rich tidbits that go best with that sort of evening. I embroidered our feast here and there with a little fruit to give the whole thing a thin gloss of healthful balance. Was there cheese? Is the Pope Catholic? The infamous Huntsman Cheese, and Cahill's Irish Porter Cheese (it's cheese and beer in one!).

The weather, I have to say, was perfect for porch sitting, and a porch in fine weather is a great place for praying the Rosary, too.

Del sported a kilt, though I was a little disappointed that he did not wear it while riding his motorcycle. That would have made the entire trip more interesting, for him and for a number of his fellow highway travelers. Impractical, I suppose.

Del's son, Buck - who, Del likes to remind everyone, is a trained killer - is the sort of young man that gives one a real sense of hope that our generation (boomers) may not succeed in ruining everything, though we try. One son in the military, and one in the seminary... a remarkable family all around.

We sent them off next morning with a feast out of Hilaire Belloc's The Four Men; bacon and eggs cooked together in the same pan, toast with real butter and coffee (I doubt Americans will ever very much embrace beer for breakfast, but I'm willing to do my bit to get such a custom started).

A gathering that will live in legend, especially as I find more time to embellish it.

And Speaking of Pagans...

Mark Shea has this post regarding the mystery of why liberal religious types reject both the holiness of the ancient Christian faith and the fun of the ancient paganism, preferring a watered down humanism wearing religious garb and playing church.

In it, he posts this poem by Chesterton, which is simply too good not to reproduce here;

THE SONG OF THE STRANGE ASCETIC

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have praised the purple vine,
My slaves should dig the vineyards,
And I would drink the wine.
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And his slaves grow lean and grey,
That he may drink some tepid milk
Exactly twice a day.

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have crowned Neaera's curls,
And filled my life with love affairs,
My house with dancing girls;
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And to lecture rooms is forced,
Where his aunts, who are not married,
Demand to be divorced.

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have sent my armies forth,
And dragged behind my chariots
The Chieftains of the North.
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And he drives the dreary quill,
To lend the poor that funny cash
That makes them poorer still.

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have piled my pyre on high,
And in a great red whirlwind
Gone roaring to the sky;
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And a richer man than I:
And they put him in an oven,
Just as if he were a pie.

Now who that runs can read it,
The riddle that I write,
Of why this poor old sinner,
Should sin without delight-
But I, I cannot read it
(Although I run and run),
Of them that do not have the faith,
And will not have the fun.

G.K. Chesterton from - Wine, Water & Song - 1913

Moustache Money

Some tax law prof is cooking up a legal proposal to allow a tax deduction for moustache maintenance. Needless to say, if a moustache is worth $250, a beard ought to be worth a solid grand.

Also, a recent study indicates that bearded men are found somewhat more trustworthy than clean-shaven men. In light of the fact that nearly all of our recent politicians have been clean shaven, this is not that surprising.

I find both these stories a little troubling, though. A tax break for facial hair will only encourage clean shaven men to grow beards and moustaches for all the wrong reasons. A beard ought to be, and indeed now is, a matter of the heart and soul. Those follicles go all the way down to the inmost part of a man.

We've allowed here at TLBC that a man might be clean shaven and yet carry an "inner beard", but the prospect of the reverse - those with no inner beard walking around with hairy chins - is a little disquieting. One would always have to wonder whether this man or that had grown a beard out of base motivations.

The same problem arises when giving bearded men extra points for trustworthiness. Whether this reflects some deeper reality is open to question (I don;t doubt it, myself), but to talk about it, to analyze it and throw it out there as a... marketing tool... is just a bit nauseating. In fact, typing the word "marketing" just made me gag a little. A berded jaw must not be allowed to become the next American Flag Lapel Pin.

For instance, Al Gore notoriously grew a beard when he knew he had a real whopper to sell to the carbon-using public. His comical attempt at gravitas was an affront to real beard wearers, and only served to cheapen the brand. Incidentally, does he still have the face coat, or has he shaved, now? Or does he keep his beard in a jar by the door?

"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion." - GKC

(A tip of the old fedora to Leaguers Jim Janknegt and Padraic McGrath).

Things to Love About the Internet, Episode 1

Here is a video of American bluegrass music, joyfully played by Chinese musicians, which I found on a German website (one of our International Leaguers!).

Fewer Men Scraping Their Chins

The Buffalo News reports that more and more men are sporting beards, and by that, they mean chiefly that more and more celebrities and male models are sporting beards... but for the sake of argument, let's call them men, anyway.

Actually, they said more and more men are sprouting beards, which is just incorrrect. All men sprout beards, but slightly fewer men are mowing them every morning, apparently.

It is difficult and, let's face it, mind-numbingly tedious for the editorial staff here at TLBC to try and keep track of the mercurial fashion trends of our country's thespian class. For example;

Full beards make the "In" category of The Buffalo News In/Out list this year, and trend- watchers have been writing about them for months now.

We have no idea whether beards are "in" or "out" at the moment, or even exactly what that means, except that, of course, beards are normally worn on the outside. What the writers of fashion articles think of beards changes every twenty minutes. Hemlines come and go, but beards are forever.

A story in the Daily Mail of London pointed out that at the GQ awards last fall, "there seemed to be more bearded men than clean-shaven ones ... Each of these beards were, as they say in fashion, "bang on trend' too … lush, leonine, unmanicured, untended and, when worn with a suit, just wild enough to say: "I don't work in an office. I answer to no one. I am an artist,'‚" wrote Simon Mills.

GQ has awards? Who knew? If scraggly, unkempt beards are "bang on trend" this year, one may dare to hope that the Middle Aged Paunch will be next year's must-have. As for the Pretentious Artist Effect... pass me the air-sick bag. The worst artists I have ever met have almost without exception been the ones most concerned about their image as an arteest.

Although trends in facial hair, including beard styles, come and go, part of the current popularity may have something to do not so much with celebrity influence as with the season. As temperatures drop, hairiness rises. People equate beards with warmth.

Oddly, people also equate fire with warmth, as well as blankets and hot cocoa. People are just weird that way. Always equating closely related things.

"It's a face coat," said Kahn, who currently is clean-shaven but has grown mustaches, beards and goatees at various points in his life, both for stage and Buffalo winters.

"It gives you a rugged look for the winter, or a little bit of an edge," he said.

Everyone knows that beards don't give you an edge, they give you a cushion. They also can be used to cover that strangely sloping area where one's chin used to be, when what had been the rugged mountain peak of youth has become what resembles an erosion-rounded hill, or (more apt) an ancient burial mound.

Jafari agreed. Wintertime is a good excuse for men to grow a beard.

Tommyrot, if I may be so bold. One never, never, never needs an excuse to grow a beard.

Still, we maintain the perhaps foolish hope that this (undoubtedly brief) trend toward beard growth will lead to a continuing and expanding affinity and appreciation for the forms of nature, and through that to nature's God. Really. A man who wishes to remain thoroughly shallow and worldly cannot be too careful of his facial hair... to mangle a phrase (apologies to C.S.L.).

DialogueJam

With a long and sustained tug we have attempted to pull the mitre off pontifical man; and his head has come off with it. - G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, Ch.3, The Suicide of Thought

Bearded Catholic Randy Beeler, at his blog The Catholic Comedy, comments on "a recent National Catholic Reporter blog post" in which "John Allen quotes Dallas Bishop Kevin Farrell's commencement address at the University of Dallas (UD) last Spring"

From the Bishop's commencement address;

We need to be self-critical and realize that no one of us has the only approach to Catholicism," Farrell said. "Honest debate, not confrontation -- true dialogue where we seek to understand the other, not facile condemnation -- should be the overarching way we move forward.

I want to say going out the gate that don't know much about either John Allen or His Exellency Bishop Farrell, so I am not addressing any of my remarks to them in particular. I will only say that the continued call for "dialogue" from some quarters, whether in the Church or the larger society, can not possibly be understood as open ended and all inclusive. In order for any meaningful debate to take place at all, there must first be some things established that are beyond debate or dialogue, that are not open to argument.

There are some things that may be fascinating to talk about, but useless to argue, such as the validity of Reason, or the general reliability of the senses, or the existence of other selves.

You can't reason your way to the validity of Reason... you can't work out an equation proving the validity of mathematics. You can't prove scientifically that the five senses tell us the truth about the outside world. You can't prove the outside world exists. These are all things that we take for granted as the foundations of reason. Trying to reason one's way toward these things is simply moving in the wrong direction, which reminds me of a joke (courtesy of P.D.Q. Bach)

Mister, do you want us to build your house from the bottom up, or from the top down?

Well, from the bottom up, naturally!

Consarn it, we'll have to tear it down and start all over again!

There may be those who toy with ideas such as that there is really no order in the cosmos, that there are no categories or patterns but what we choose to impose on the chaos of reality... but the people who make these arguments still insist on correct change, still drive on the right side of the road, still wear their pants on their legs and not on their heads. In other words, their philosophy is a phantasm, a mental trick, that even they (thankfully) do not try to take seriously.

As Chesterton said (from Orthodoxy, Ch. 2, "The Maniac");

This chapter is purely practical and is concerned with what actually is the chief mark and element of insanity; we may say in summary that it is reason used without root, reason in the void. The man who begins to think without the proper first principles goes mad, the man who begins to think at the wrong end.

The whole secret of mysticism is this: that man can understand everything by the help of what he does not understand. The morbid logician seeks to make everything lucid, and succeeds in making everything mysterious. The mystic allows one thing to be mysterious, and everything else becomes lucid.

There are any number of things that might be considered inarguable for a Catholic, because if any one of these things is an open question (the points of the Creed, for example), then Catholicism and all of Christian history becomes a continually open question. As St. Paul put it, "... if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith." (1 Cor. 15:14). In other words, the resurrection of Christ is not an issue open for "dialogue" within the Church. Period. Unless this question is considered settled by all parties, the question of, say, priestly celibacy is pretty moot. If Christ is not risen, who cares, frankly, if priests marry or not? Shoot, let them marry. Let them smoke crack.

Then comes the question of who (oh, who?), if anyone, has the authority to determine which areas are legitimately open for dialogue, and which are not. For a Catholic, again, this is a settled question. Someone does have precisely this authority, and... well, I know it's not me.

Let any Catholics looking for dialogue on this or that first state plainly what they accept as beyond debate. That may save everyone a lot of trouble.

Guest Host Grab Bag

As the blog author is presently tremendously busy with art projects of various kinds, TLBC blogging duties will be sporadically assumed by leaguer J. Harold Bootstrap, world renowned philatelist and adventurer of note. Thank you.

And now, a guest post by J. Harold Bootstrap...

--------------------

First of all, my heartfelt apologies. I had hoped to post on the following items yesterday, but was deeply occupied with my plans to gain entry to the Guinness Book of World Records by counting down to zero from infinity. My counting skills have always been very solid, even before I entered kindergarten, and I am in peak physical condition. I must admit, however, that I have been having the devil's own time getting started.

I have now turned the question over to some highly qualified mathematicians and scientists, having e-mailed a number of prominent names in the field. Though there seems to be some sort of technical problem with my internet service provider (I haven't received any replies to my e-mails, as yet) I expect to have a workable solution in hand very soon.

In the meantime, allow me to direct you attention to the following items of interest.

Sincere thanks,

J. Harold Bootstrap, esq.

----------------

Father Ben Hasse writes,

 Let not this auspicious day pass by, as I posted on Facebook:

Today is a joyful day for all bearded brethren. In the Office of Readings, no less authority than St. Hilary of Poitiers, commenting on that favorite psalm of the bearded, 133, states that "A beard ADORNS a man of mature years." I, at least, have a beard!

Let these encouraging words go out to the brothers whose chins do not face the bitter winter wind unprotected, yeah, they are not only protected but ADORNED!

http://www.universalis.com/20100201/readings.htm

God Bless,

Fr. Ben

 

Father Ben was also kind enough to send along this photo of him and some of his bearded brethren.

 
I must admit, these brothers' facial forestation makes my own appear rather anemic in contrast. Achieve instant notariety by sending photos of your own chin growth!

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From Randy Beeler's blog The Catholic Comedy, a rumination on today's trifecta of celebration; Candlemas, The Feast of the Presentation, and Groundhog Day.

 

Blogger Jennifer Pierce (aka Blog Nerd) is always a joy to read, especially in her continuing series Chesterton 15 Minutes At A Time and other posts in the category of Chesterton and the Inklings.

 

The   Tolkien Library provides all the Tolkien titles (and upcoming titles) in which one could hope to contentedly wallow, including word on the soon-to-be-released The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun.

 

*And just for fun, The Crescat is unfailingly worthwhile, because in addition to her varied and occasionally lucid thoughts on other topics, she posts some very lovely artwork... interspersed with some of the most eye-gougingly awful religious art that any sane mind could conceive. Viewing some of these pieces, I'm convinced, may reduce one's time in Purgatory, as the act involves a certain mental self-flagellation.

TLBC will be expanding our links soon. Send in your suggestions!