Well... He's Just This Guy, You Know?

The new Gilbert's here! The new Gilbert's here!

 

The latest issue of Gilbert magazine arrived on out threshhold a few days ago, and the event had our entire household practically fosticating with excitement. This is the long awaited Art issue, which features a number of reproductions of my paintings - and those of some other really accomplished artists - in glossy, full-color splendor... and there was rejoicing in Squirrelandia ("ya-a-a-a-y...").

The editorial staff, having finally succumbed to my patient and subtle mind control techniques, also inexplicably decided to interview me for the article, along with Jef Murray. They even make mention of The League of Bearded Catholics! Yes, everything is proceeding according to my nefarious and labyrinthine plan...

Anyhow, I always find the experience of reading my own words in print to be something like hearing one's voice on tape for the first time. Or maybe like the way Hermione Granger must have felt when she asked, "Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?".

In order to head off at the pass the inevitable indignant letters of complaint, I sat down and wrote one straight form my worst fear scenario. I don;t know if they'll print it, but I think it would be funny.

Dear Gilbert Magazine,

 

I received the July/August issue of Gilbert - the art issue - with great anticipation, and was pleased to find an array of what was, on the whole, some very worthwhile and beautiful artwork reproduced in glorious color.

 

But I was given to wonder what led you to devote so many precious column inches to this fellow Timothy Jones. Nothing against him... he has a fair start on being an artist, and might yet learn to paint well, but his unfocused ramblings on the philosophy and meaning of art reveal him to be quite out of his element. While the reproductions of his artwork are not altogether a waste of ink, his value as an amateur philosopher or even a very alert student of art history is open to some very legitimate doubt. In addition, one wonders; Who, after all, is he? What, of note, has he really achieved that we should care very much  what he thinks?

 

I was very gratified to find the article in which he was featured more or less rescued by the calmly rational Jef Murray and rounded out with some delightful artwork from several other accomplished artists - Anthony VanArsdale (the deserving cover artist) and Jason Tako come to mind as being especially outstanding. You even have right there on staff a very talented artist, Ted Schluenderfritz, who's thoughts and work might better warrant the time and attention of your readers.

 

I'll leave you with the gentle admonition that surely you can aim a bit higher next time.

 

Very sincerely yours,

 

Timothy Jones,

BFA (Blew Finances Aimlessly),

MFA (Mannered Frittering Accomplished),

BC (Bearded Catholic)

 

Comments

[Del]

Oh.... Sean will SO print this!

[Paul S.]

Hey Tim, congrats on being in the Gilbert issue! I have yet to subscribe to this magazine.

On an unrelated note, though I'm sure not in any way antagonistic to the leanings of the League, I present this article:

http://web.archive.org/web/20040206014548/http://www.sambiser.com/discoveries/x-rated_beverages.html

Have you read it?

I found it via here:

http://nutrition-and-physical-regeneration.com/blog/3892/alcohol/healer-approved-xrated-beverages-save/#more-3892