Hail, Hail, Squirrelandia!

...Land of the Brave and Free-e-e-e-e-e!

 
Squirrel sejant erect, courtesy of the Hesburgh Libraries at The University fo Notre Dame

Considering that we have been a sovereign nation for some time now, it is a national embarrassment that we, as yet, have no flag. The idea had been delegated to a native artist of renown, but she has apparently been busily occupied with schoolwork and some ongoing Manga projects, and the banner of our homeland has languished in neglect.

In an effort to move things along and perhaps inspire some fresh thought, I have been conducting intense research into the noble tradition of heraldry, with a mind to establish some basic design for the flag. Clearly, a squirrel must figure prominently, but how best to present it?

I should have guessed that the idea of a heraldric squirrel was nothing new. A number of examples can be found on this newfangled interwebs, and already the concept begins to take shape.

In fairness to the population, I think they should have some input as to the precise character of the sciurus carolinensis represented forever on our glorious flag, and so several styles will be presented for consideration... but the example at the top of this post finds favor with the current regent. I like that it's showing its claws...it looks like it might be rabid. After all, we Squirrelandians may be a small, cuddly sort of people, but don't underestimate our ferocity when cornered... or before we've had our coffee of a morning.

Every family ought to have a coat of arms, and every home ought to be a sovereign homeland. What kind of flag would come nearest to truly representing your family? Well, get to work, man!

Comments

[The Cobbler]

I have a friend who went to Miami University (in Ohio; different from the Miami most people think of). She tells me there are huge, aggressive killer squirrels on campus. I could ask her if she'd have any advice on squirrel-related heraldry, if ye like.

[Unread Apologist]

Your friend is lying to you, probably as a joke. The squirrels at Miami, my alma mater, are neither particularly "huge" in any dangerous sense nor "aggressive." What they are is *very* used to people, and *very* used to getting easy food. So they do not run away from people in the traditional manner of squirrels.

I think the moral of the story is that you probably don't want a fat and indolent squirrel for your sigil.

[The Cobbler]

Well, I figured it was exagerrated, but that the real squirrels probably did something to earn their reputation. Not unlike those fairytales Chesterton fancied, come to think of it. You're probably ruining your fellow alumni's little inside cultural amusement -- har, just teasing. 8^)