Call Me Jolly Again, and I'll...

St. Nicholas Saves Three Innocents From Death - Ilya Repin, 1888

There exists a whole universe of great saints, many of whom would make a smashing patron, but for a variety of reasons, I would like to propose St. Nicholas of Myra as the Patron Saint of The League of Bearded Catholics.

He is a Bearded Catholic, anyway, though not that much else is positively known about him. Legends abound. He was loved and celebrated in many places throughout Christendom long before he came to be associated with Christmas presents.

Questions? Comments? Cantankerous quibbles?

Comments

[jacobus]

The answer is clearly Onuphrius. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Saint_Onuphrius.jpg

[Darin]

Saint Eustace is an option if for no other reason than you know how bearded a guy gets after about the second week of deer camp. Isaac Jogues is always depicted with a big of a wookie look too.

However, I'm not sure I can picture either of these sitting around the camp fire debating the merits of the weed of the South Farthing.

I can, however, picture St. Nick doing this, but that might just be because I have a hard time getting away from Clement Moore on the subject, "and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath".

Even in spite of that, I've always imagined Nicolas as a man graced with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, so I think I'll give him my vote. Besides, I already have a nice St. Nick on my mantel at home.

[Darin]

I can't give my vote to Onuphriurs. While having a great beard, he was our only Saint to experience a sex change. Legend has it that Onuphrius was once a virtuous girl and prayed that she might be transformed to a man so that she could maintain her virginity and avoid suitors. I suppose it's not any more incredible than St. Dennis picking up his head and carrying it back home . . .

[Tim J.]

That's hilarious, Darin.

I suppose girls of that era hadn't yet thought of "I'm washing my hair.".

I'll never look at St. Onuphriurs quite the same way again. Not that I'd been aware of him before tonight, but...

[Del]

St. Nicholas? Excellent choice!

And not only for the celebrated beard of his Santa Claus visage!

St. Nicholas is the most popular saint in the Eastern Church (most parishes named after him) -- the the patron of sailors; one can imagine him minding the helm of the Nona with Belloc.

My favorite legend of St. Nicholas has him punching the nose of bishop Arius at the Council of Nicea.

This is a tough guy, who can toss down and rumble with a Ho! Ho! Ho! -- Just what the League is looking for.

[John Kasaian]

I'll bow to St. Nicholas!

He is a splendid Saint who has suffered much from secular society, where he is better known by the diminuative "Santa" and "Claus" (which I understand to be either a dutch word for "wears furry shorts" or an underhanded conspiracy to sully the name of our benevolent Saint with allusions to the infamous war criminal Klaus Barbi)

At the hands of Clement Moore, who penned "T'was The Night Before Christmas" stripped of his Bishop's robes and dressed like an elf. Moore taught at Columbia University and was an educated man. He should have known better.

Without royalties, Santa has been used to prostitute everything from Coca Cola to Claymation holiday features to songs where he allegedly goes around kissing Mommies and running over Grandmas with his sled (one can only wonder if the true intent of the songsmith was to callously hint of a Catholic Saint & Bishop being DUI to draw attention away from that whole Teddy "Beardless" Kennedy/Chappasomethingorother bridge thing)

Yes, let us embrace St. Nicholas! As the Patron of sailors (who drink rum and wear beards) and children (who relish bacon and cheese and wish they could wear beards) I think he will be a fitting Patron for the League.

[Shakespeare's Cobbler]

The whacking of Arius legend is my personal favorite St. Nick story as well... St. Nicholas, Visage-Smasher of Heretics! My vote's sure with this bearded, benevolent and righteous mischief-maker of a bishop. (Righteous mischief is a virtue, right?)